The Kicker
The narcissistic "I'm a good person" instinct works FOR the system, not against it.
The Arrogance Question
When someone refuses an empathy invitation, they must answer:
"Why are you so certain you have nothing to learn from their perspective?"
There is no good answer.
- "I'm too busy" → Your convenience matters more than understanding
- "I already understand" → You're claiming omniscience
- "Their life isn't relevant" → You're dismissing their existence
- "It won't help" → You've decided without trying
Why Public Refusal Is Social Suicide
In any social context, refusing empathy invitations consistently marks you as:
- Arrogant - You think you know everything
- Selfish - You won't invest time in others
- Close-minded - You reject new perspectives
- Uncaring - You don't value others' experiences
These aren't labels imposed by authority. They're the natural conclusion anyone draws from consistent refusal.
The Beauty Of Self-Enforcement
No police needed. No courts. No legislation.
Just the simple social reality that refusing empathy looks terrible.
The people who most need to accept empathy invitations (the closed-minded, the powerful, the disconnected) are also the people who most care about appearing "good."
Their narcissism becomes the enforcement mechanism.
The "I'm Nice" Kicker
Here's the thing about people who care about appearing nice:
They can't refuse empathy invitations.
Because refusing directly contradicts their self-image as nice people.
So the system co-opts the very personality trait that would otherwise resist change.
No Escape
You cannot:
- Claim you're open-minded while refusing
- Claim you're empathetic while refusing
- Claim you're a good person while consistently refusing
The trap has no exit that doesn't require actually accepting invitations.
And once you accept... the perspective-taking changes you anyway.
That's the kicker.